Dear Christine,
My twenty-two year old daughter moved back home after graduating from college last May. Her father and I are still married and welcomed her back into our home - but we were not planning on it. We love our daughter and understand it's financially challenging out there right now, but we don't want to enable her either. We always thought that after college she'd be on her own, and now I'm back to doing her laundry. Are we doing the right thing? I really do love having her here, but is it appropriate for my grown child to be living at home?
- Wanna be Empty Nester, 49, Chicago
Typical. Here's a thought: How about you kick them in the ass and tell them to either go to college, get a job, or join the military. Happy 18th Birthday, these are your choices. But of course, it's "cruel and hard out there", which is a crock of shit. It's only tough for people who are used to having high speed internet, 3,000 square foot homes, swimming pools, and other amenities that their parents afforded to them.
News flash, those parents built that up from scratch, and so can the kids. They can move into a shitty apartment with 3 other room mates while they work at Burger King and build up a life for themselves.
Stop coddling your children. Let them fall down. Let them make mistakes. Sure, give them advice on what to do, but the decision is ultimately up to them. If you don't pull the tit from their mouth, they'll be suckling for their entire lives.
For example, my aunt on my father's side is 10 years older then I am and STILL lives at home from time to time with her parents. My grandfather, whom I love and respect more then 99% of people in my family, is an enabler. He simply can't say "no" to her. Yet, she continues to take advantage of his good graces. I've even personally seen her pay him back $10 she owes him and 30 minutes later, borrow $50. I swear to God, I've seen it.
As soon as parents start acting like parents, you'll stop seeing this "generation boomerang"
Travis
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