Finally, my tax dollars being spent on something worthwhile:
Fighting in Iraq took a heavy toll on Marine Lance Cpl. Daniel Patrick, damaging his hand, injuring his brain and causing him to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
But Patrick's body wasn't the only thing hurt by combat. His relationship with his wife was wounded, too. The couple got married shortly after he returned, yet Patrick refused to talk to her about the war. Sometimes he yelled at her.
So the pair marked their first anniversary this past weekend at a Marine Corps retreat that took a decidedly un-military approach to saving marriages: Combining classes in communication with massage therapy, yoga and meditation. It's an effort by the military to ease the strain on married couples when soldiers return to civilian life after long, repeated deployments.
Later in a dimly lit room, Seibert learns to give his wife a foot rub from a massage therapist. Across the room, Patrick massages his wife, Samantha, modifying the technique because his damaged left hand is still in a brace.
"I was like 'OK, yoga and massage are nice. How is it going to help my marriage?'" he said.
The massage lessons are designed to help couples relax with each other.
"When you start getting into the whole mind-body thing and the touchy-feeling thing with Marines, you have to present it in a way they are going to get into it," said Cari Gardonne, who helped design the sessions.
The yoga, for example, is geared toward teaching the benefits of health.
Patrick, wounded in Fallujah in November 2006, was skeptical about yoga, with its "spandex and funny music." But he was willing to try anything to preserve his relationship with his wife.
"It's been a rough year because of me not getting the help I needed at first," Patrick said. "I wasn't willing to admit I had problems. Now that I am getting help, things are a little better."
Anything that can get these fine young people back into the civilian world as healthy and happy as possible, I'm all for. And I don't care if it costs me a few extra bucks to make it happen. If Mr. Patrick and his wife live to a ripe old age and talk about their grandchildren over a cup of coffee at the dining room table, then it's completely worth every dime to me.
But you really have to dig the guy's shirt: Make Love, Not Babies. I can appreciate something like that. :)
I've told this story before, and I'll repeat it again for our new readers:
I've told the story about the 4 "warms" many times before. This soldier, Shay, was showing signs of PTSD. Nothing too serious, but the warning signs were there. His wife, whom I worked with, told me she was concerned. So I suggested giving him the 4 "warms" when he returned home.
They weren't by any stretch of the imagination a wealthy couple. They struggled financially many times. However, the 4 "warms" significantly helped out.
A warm meal - Soldiers who return home want a nice, big meal. Steak, potatoes, lobster, barbecue, etc. There isn't a soldier alive who doesn't enjoy a nice, warm meal with their family when they return home.
A warm shower - Many of these folks haven't showered in weeks or months. You can imagine the amount of grime and grit that gets all over you. Washing it off is healthy for the body and healthy for the mind. "It's over now. I can start anew."
A warm bed - Just about everyone has slept on rocks, in tanks, in uncomfortable positions. Sometimes for long periods of time. A nice, soft bed, in a quiet suburban area can help ease anyone's stresses.
A warm woman - Ok, so this one is geared mainly towards the men, but you can vice/versa it for the women. When a soldier returns home, if a woman is waiting for him in nice lingerie, or a sexy attitude, just about everything else takes a back seat. You'll notice spikes in babies being born 9 months after a significant troop return.Well, once Shay came into my office, he asked to speak with me personally. I thought he was pissed or something when he said "what the hell did you tell my wife"? After I explained it, he laughed and said it was the best homecoming day he's ever experienced. I talked to him about PTSD and he had said that yes, he had experienced it "a little". But after the 4 "warms" he knew that life was going to get a lot better and his symptoms of PTSD has subsided significantly.
Travis
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